So, we’ve talked about patience, sending the love, consistency and tenacity to recover our alienated child. Now, after all that hard work and effort into managing ourselves, we need to manage our expectations. You’ve probably heard the expression, “don’t get your hopes up too high”, which applies when we are recovering our authentic child.
In our lifetime as parents, when we make a kind gesture or show love to our child, we have been used to getting an immediate positive response. We can’t let our past experiences drive our expectations now, because if we do, we will be hugely disappointed. Remember, right now we don’t have an authentic relationship with our child. It takes time to recover our authentic child and it will take everything we can summon from our being to accomplish our goal or recovering our authentic child.
Sometimes during recovery, you take two steps forward, then one step back. It’s slow. Based on my own personal experience, I would recommend that you keep your expectations low during this process of recovery. When something good happens, you can rejoice (just a little) and when something doesn’t go so well, you won’t be too disappointed. The process of recovering your child is a culmination of many baby steps-sometimes you move forward and sometimes you fall down. So, let’s start walking!