Recovering your authentic child may take some time. We all wish that our kids would “just snap out of it” and “see the light”. That does not usually happen. And recovering your child really does not include having your child understand everything that has happened and/or understand the damage the alienators have done. Recovering your child means recovering your relationship with your child. This relationship may look different, especially if you have missed years of time with them. This is the new chapter of your relationship with your child. It’s time to move forward and write the new chapter of your relationship.
Recovery is usually a process that happens over a period of time. Much of this process happens while you are doing in Steps 1-9. Often there are other things that happen as well, which are out of our control yet contribute to the recovery. Your child matures, friends and significant others question your child regarding the relationship, as well as other things out of your control. But, we cannot wait for these serendipitous events to occur. We as Targeted Parents must actively participate in the recovery of our child. It is our showing up as unconditionally loving parents which influences our Alienated Child, and the events out of our control that serve as a catalyst that brings our child back to us.